Freeya vidu, jollya iru

I envy people who go about living without thinking or analysing much. They don't introspect and take things as they come. I find it hard to do that. It's as if I am always... well, suspicious. No, cautious and restrained.
I am not a friendly person as most people who know me can tell. I find interacting with human beings almost a challenge. I don't enjoy meeting new people and making friends. I am not comfortable with most people. And with the few people, it takes a lot of time to be relaxed in their presence.

I don't talk unless I have to. The idea of small talk is as strange to me as rocket science. Sometimes I don't even acknowledge a person when I meet them the second time. I wonder why I don't do that. It's so rude of me but I don't mean to be rude. Either I don't remember their names or don't know what to say. Or sometimes when I say something, I find that that person doesn't remember me. Now, that's awkward. It's exactly these situations that I dread.

My friend tells me, 'Freeya vidu, jollya iru'. Live freely, Love fully, says an email forward. Hmm.. I will learn to do that.